Episode 929: Neanderthal Art Critic James Jones – Radio Free Nintendo

No idea who thought that aurochs was any good. Seriously, it’s basically about 20,000 to 10,000 years ago when humans went full Magdalenian on cave walls around Montignac-Lascaux. And yeah, Neanderthals might have doodled some too, long before their curtain call 40,000 years ago. Mostly in Spain, doing their handprint-thing, dabbling with dots and ladders. Not exactly the Louvre, let’s be honest. But hey, their stuff’s old enough to turn to dust more than the newer bits.

Summing up, Neanderthal artistry? Meh.

By the way, this is all off the top of my head. No fact-checking here except for nailing how to spell Magdalenian and Montignac-Lascaux. Picture me daring someone to fact check with an implied finger wag.

Fast forward to now where James, thoroughly un-Neanderthal, critiques like a pro. Imagine Hot Tub Time Machine, but the version where you actually laugh.

So, this week, Jon’s got his hands on a new Switch 2, fresh from the capitalist cuddle of bestbuy.com. We let him wax lyrical about it and stumble through Mario Kart World’s chaos. Everyone and their grandma seems hooked. Visualize Jon, couch-bound, drowning in endless red shells. Weirdly soothing, right?

Oh, and there’s a new Splatoon solo game on the horizon.

This leads to other stuff. Can’t explain it; don’t really get it myself.

We pause for sanity’s sake but dive back in. Guillaume passionately argues for F-Zero GX on NSO Expansion Pack for Switch 2. Not my cup of tea, especially given his newfound aggressiveness. Speaking of which, he’s knee-deep in Valfaris, a Switch shoot-‘em-up that’s all about the ‘boom.’

Greg’s up next, dissecting a Switch 2 tweak for Splatoon 3. He’s all about that extra HDR pop and the fluid framerate. Nintendo should really call it “super-stable.” I’m practically doing their PR.

Yet again.

And here I am, your dear wordsmith, dabbling in the Switch 2 version of Fantasy Life i: The Girl Who Steals Time. That’s a concept—kids pilfering time itself. Reminds me of dealing with kids, auditors, managers, inspectors. None were literal time thieves, though. Never mind.

Where was I? Ah, I’d barely scratched the game’s surface by the time we hit record, stuck in the tutorial loop. Fingers crossed I’ll be deeper in next week. Unless, you know… life.

Now, if you’ve got any Paleolithic sketches to share, bring ‘em on.